First day of school
Thanks to Grandaddy and siblings, Denise was able to leave the hospital where David was staying long enough to take Devri to her first day of school. Here are a few pictures. More about David later. He will be missing the first week of school.
Devri getting her hair braided. What fun. Denise just made it home for this event.
She is a little camera shy, or annoyed. She did not want to look at the camera. Yeah, first day. Be happy.
Denise really enjoyed the moment. Devri, there are no retakes here.
Eating breakfast. Woo hoo. first day. How exciting. She did not eat the crust of the toast and put the trix in her backpack. She loves her new backpack.
Walking to her first classs. Alright. Tried not to trip over other eager parents. She wouldn’t look at the camera. Come on Devri this won’t ever happen again.
Here you go Denise. This is the best I could get of her with Ms. Gavin. Devri had enough of the posing thing. Ms. Gavin graciously moved next to Devri so I could somehow get them together.
Well, this was a good experience. We look forward to seeing David get to school at some point. He is a little bummed that he was in the hospital today. Hopefully he will be out soon. There are no guarantees.
There will be more about that later.
This is not Monday
I usually don’t have bad days that perpetuate. I did have a lucky day some time ago that I am still reminiscing about often in my mind. “Oh please let there be a pie on top the vending machine.” And more often, “Oh please let there be some junk food that I don’t need to eat in the break room.”
Well, first thing this morning. I started the coffee machine. Went off to do something else. Came back and the coffee pot was half full and the other half was on the counter top. So, I had to clean that up. I don’t know what happened to make the coffee not go in the pot.
Then I get into my ‘office’ and allow the stench out as soon as I can. I threw out the trash because I thought that would get rid of the smell. No. After getting some work done I decided I couldn’t take it anymore. I said something that that as well, “I can’t take the smell of this shit anymore.” My nose lead me to the file cabinet. Ha. The rodent that enjoyed my Ramen noodles had passed away from such joy. That’s great I figured out what the horrible smell was, now what; empty all drawers, pull file cabinet outside, clean with soapy solution, drench down with hose, huh, where’s the mouse, turn cabinet on its side, drench with water some more, get strange look from girl upstairs, oh, there he is. The little critter was stuck inside the bottom pretty good. I let the cabinet dry for a while before moving it back into my ‘office’. Nothing like cleaning out the cabinet of piss, poop, and dead mouse first thing on a Monday morning. Who else is going to do it?
If that wasn’t enough. The avocado I brought to eat was past its prime was well; all brown and gross inside. I wanted that avocado. But, I did have some delicious home grown tomatoes. The recent rains and cool weather blessed the tomatoes well. And for some reason the mockingbirds aren’t bothering them anymore.
Previous post- Crawling into my skin
The previous post is a poem that I have been working on for a bit. It sort of combines some thoughts into one place. There is the reference to Kibran’s quote ‘the serpent that was given’. and that is tied into the serpent of my life. and tied into the idea of the skin and giving that serpent up so that i can crawl back into my skin as me. My skin, my old self , the self that i want to be. Eveyone has been given things that we may not want, bad traits. And the open wound. metaphorically, my therapist said we will be creating a wound or actually digging deeper into that wound and then fixing it. That sort of made me think about the fact that i will be crawling into my self. Crawling back into who I am. Crawling, like a baby, maybe. Certainly not like a snake. that’s morbid in a sense.
Crawling into my skin – poem
Crawling into my skin
Crawling through my skin
mind
trials
pricking, poking, stabbing
at my skin
Hours
Days
feeling of new,
where did my old skin go?
where is the molting?
This was the serpent given when I asked for a fish. Now I find out
how generous these people are.
I can’t walk into my skin
run crawl
into my skin
myself
self of mine that sticks out.
Stared at my skin
Realized I was not there
Stared
at my skin
Wanted back in.
This was the serpent given to me, what exactly did I ask. What will be my generous gift?
Did not get what I asked for
Asking is wrong,
only a child
My skin started to open
Age will do that
Across the room
she asked questions
To open the skin.
Create the ooze, gooze, mush
my skin crawls
Now I find out how generosity slithers from the giver, how it moves to me.
Let the pains dance
around
the open wounds
She says we will
remove the serpents
Allow stomping
of wounds
Serpents slithered ‘round
they don’t leave
until pulled off.
The generosity is all they have to give so keep that in mind, though it comes in what form?
Those generous people
don’t ask
how the serpents are doing
they don’t ask they don’t ask they don’t ask
they move on.
Doug Logan
August 2008
What I have finished reading- Finding Your own North Star
Finally after getting the summer semester out of the way I was able to get back to my reading. I have finished reading “Finding your Own North Star” by Martha Beck.
Beck is a fantastic writer. This makes the second book of hers I have read. The words she put down on paper encourage and inspire. I find that each of the exercies in the book are a good source of personal knowledge. I mean, how else are you suppose to find out about yourself unless you actually think about it.
No, I have not completely followed through with everything that is suggested. No, I am not living what my North Star says to do. But, at least I know more. I know what my life’s journey is. I know I am not in a job that makes me happy. I know which family members to stay away from. I know that my essential self wants to be creative, grow a garden, love my wife, love my kids, love my family, make beer, have a brew pub, write a book, write another book, learn to play the guitar/violin, take lots of pictures with my new digital camera (nikon D60, which I don’t actually have yet), put the pictures in a book, travel to other countries, finish working on the house, and have the job that I enjoy (maybe part of something there should be my job).
Some of these are part of my WIGS (Wildly Improbable Goals).
Our weekend-museum, mesquite tree, hulk
This weekend we went to the Amon Carter Museum for the Target Family Fun Day.
This is the kids eating hot dogs outside before going into the museum.
Then we have working on artwork. Devri remembered the last time we were there. She started to do the same project that was completed last time. It didn’t work. David had fun doodling on the paper and listening to the man next to him. The man next to him said a few times, ‘Hey, mom, this is a potaote in the sky dancing,’ because that’s what his daughter said. Then David said that to us a few times.
David on the mesquite tree outside the museum. He is quite agile.
Devri on the mesquite tree outside the museum.
Family – group photo. Notice David’s hands. Hopefully he does not have a tight squeeze.
Refreshments- ahh, slurpees
And one of my favorites, if not, my fave. David would not let me help put him to bed until I took a picture of him. He carried the Hulk Hands around before bed and banged them together. Hulk hands and hulk pajamas. He has already said he wants a Hulk birthday.
I know this is a lot of pictures. This is one of those things that if I just wrote about in my journal many big words would have to be used for description. Really, after a fun and slightly tense day due only to the crowd, the final bow comes from the little boy in Hulk hands stating that the best part of the day was getting chocolate cookies (oreos) at the museum. What a great day.
It’s Quiet
Yes, it is so quiet here.
That starts out so poetic. But, the reality is that work has gotten a lot more quiet in the past month. Everybody leaves after the 8 hours for the day is over; 2:30 p.m. I have a little more ‘work’ to do, which means I stay longer.
The lights are out in the shop. The stampede at the time clock occurs everyday at the same time. Production is down. The lights in the offices next to the shop are out by the time I leave. This experience is strange. There is no second shift coming in.
I am experienceing what it is like to shut a plant down. Weird. And yet, there is still so many things about this experience that I am learning everyday. Now that my boss and his boss and his boss and other bosses are gone, the work is left up to the workers to do that they once did. Most of it we did anyway with them getting the credit, it just sounds good to say they did something. And the temporary bosses have to be trained by who? That’s right, us, the worker. And when I say temporary boss, I mean, he is permanent until this place shuts down and there is no need for any boss.
I am going to go home now. Especially since sitting here all by myself and only the computer is tempting. I think I will read for a little bit.
Hospital – morning
This is the day of the surgery. Some may wonder why I bother taking photos of David in such an predicament, but that is the joy of it all. He is on the way to the hospital, he knows it now. He has not slept much the night before. He took two hours to get to bed and came down to crawl into bed with be at 2 a.m. We got up two hours later.
And he was very talkative on the way to the hospital. I liked that he was not upset or sad about the event.
The other important attribute is the new Hulk pajamas that he wore. David was excited beyond belief to wear them. I think I need a new pair of pajamas to cheer me up.
At check-in he was being a little silly. Well, it was almost 5:30 a.m., who wouldn’t be.
This is the part that is sort of fun. He gets silly and plays around with me while mom does all the paperwork. I know this will be the last time for a few days that he will have this kind of energy and be able to goof around. We have been through this before. He will, however, not be still in about a week. That is the time limit he has for this mess. Then we just have to watch what he does.
The importance of this is the fight he gave to get to the bed. David knew what that bed with wheels meant. He did not want to get on the bed. First it would mean getting sleepy and then he would be wheeled away.
On the wall is one of those oil and water things. You put your hand on the screen and the black changes colors. That was helpful to get him up to the bed. He is telling mom to put her hand up there.
Any way, that’s how part of the day went.
David-Prior to surgery
Here is what he looked like at bath time before bed. He told me he was catching fish.
David at bath time. This is David in his new Hulk pajamas. He told me that he had to wear these new PJs that he just got today. That is probably why he is so wired before bed. He also said he has to get a Hulk mask, Hulk hands, and a Hulk costume. David in Hulk PJs
He is cool and relaxed.
