Garden joy-irises in march
Here is a picture of the iris bed in my garden. I took this picture this past weekend. I wanted to get this first thing in the morning. I have had a sort of awakening about my garden lately. When I say lately, I mean, in the past few months. It has been about two years since the garden has been completly active. Active means having fruits and vegetable. We haven’t had fresh cantoloupe in that many years. The good thing about these irises is that they keep going no matter what. There seems to be some resilience to them.
The parts of the garden that were left alone through the void continued to grow weeds. I have learned that twice as much energy has to be put forth to fix what has been left alone. Though working through the past two years would have eliminated a lot of the work now, it just didn’t happen. I dedicate myself to never allow the void to take place again.
Like life and our own souls, when we leave the garden unattended, the weeds grow. When we do not take care of our lives, bad things happen.
The important thing is to notice the leaves of the irises. Most people would walk by month after month and not notice what is happening. The leaves are starting to grow wider. Each plant is growing larger, getting ready to put out stems for the flowers.
Proud moment #26
Another proud moment yesterday emerged from a familiar place. My wife planned on me taking David to baseball practice after I got home from work. It was difficult getting him ready to go out the door. He whined and persisted on being stubborn. He told us he didn’t want to go. But, we persisted, and he made it to practice. We were late.
We pulled up toward the baseball field. David told me that he wanted to go play on the playground. I told him no because we were going to play baseball. He still wasn’t convinced. When we pulled closer to where his team was playing. He then saw the other boys playing. The interest finally kicked in when he told me that he wanted to go play with his friends.
I followed him to the field. While he was out there in line behind the pitchers mound I reminded him to behave. As soon as he gathered with the rest of the boys he played the clown for a bit. I hated yelling across the field so I had to move closer. A little close eye to eye contact with him helped guide him back on track.
A half hour later his focus was good. The proud moment for me was watching him keep interested in baseball. He stayed in line and went up to catch the ball. When he was finished he got back in line. I was proud of him running from home plate to first and then to second. I was proud that I could stand back and watch him play and know what to do. For the first time I watched as he picked up the grounder and threw it to first base, just like he was supposed to do.
My proud moment was watching my 7 year old son with Down syndrome get out on that field. It has taken a few years to keep his focus on the sport but, he seemed to be fine yesterday. I am proud of the child that he is. And he can throw that ball when he wants to. My really proud moment was when he kept swinging and swinging as the coach kept throwing balls up in the air. He didn’t stop trying to hit the ball. It was almost unhappy to watch him missing each time until he did it. He hit the ball. He missed as many balls as all the other boys. That makes me proud. He also hit just as many.
good Saturday
This weekend was so much about family.
I was originally going to the hadware and seed store by myself but, the kids wanted to come too. So, we all piled in the van to make it a family affair. That meant that we had to drive up to make a delivery for my wife. Then we went to make the stops I wanted to make.
At Lowe’s, David was not shy at all about grabbing the cart and pushing. That was actually a proud parental moment. Denise looked at me and asked if he was using one of the smaller carts and I said no. He was using one of the regular carts, he’s just getting bigger.
I learned that it can be fun to go with the whole family and it can be more expensive., because of the wife not the kids. Denise threw in four bags of sand for the kids sandbox when we went down the cement aisle. There is something to add to the list of things to do.
Of course we can’t go into Wal-Mart without buying too much as well. The last major stop was the seed store. I only wanted cantaloupe and watermelon seeds. But, Denise got to pick out the tomatoes she wants. I grow them for her.
Then lunch has to happen because we were out so long; to the hamburger joint in the square at downtown. This was good because the kids like hamburgers and French fries.
Not enough time to finish…..
No one home as I arrived from work
No one home as I arrived from work
No one home as I arrived from work
I mowed
I picked weeds
I planted squash in the tires with good dirt
I got dirty
The air started to chill
You arrived with the kids ready to get to bed.
They showed me what Grandma and Papa gave them.
Off to bed with no book, too late
Walk by myself in the dark, cold night.
Full moon to the east
Bright
Scary
Ominous encounter
Shadows in the dark
I wake for work early
Full moon to the west
Brighter and wiser
Calming in the morning
Omnipresent it follows me
Bright light through the bedroom window
A drive even along with a moving train
Two engines
Then I drive faster and it disappears in my mirror.
Odd thunder it leaves behind
Strange figure in the morning as it moves.
Then I am late to work because of another train in my way.
Full moon glowing in windshield waiting for train to pass
Doug Logan
3/20/08
A few weeks ago – February 2008-I finally sent my letter of resignation into the office in Salt Lake city. I say finally because it has been many years since I have actually stepped foot inside a Mormon church. It is a long time coming; about 13 years to be exact. Now, I am free, I have resigned from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
I never thought about it 10 years or so. When my wife and I moved to a new house we started getting visits from missionaries. I sent them away. More recently, in the past year, mail was sent to me informing me of times of church and asking for correct data.
At the beginning of February I finished reading Leaving the Saints by Martha Beck. That book gave me the push I really needed to finally get my letter done. And how great it is to have so many wonderful websites out there about being an Ex-Mormon. I spent a lot of time reading other people’s stories. Those stories meant a lot to me, because they were so honest, personal, and memorable situations. So many people have a story about the questions they want to ask. Getting the words out can be difficult. Still, for me, denying something that was such a big part of my life is hard.
All the early morings in seminary class, listening to so many people testify to the ”one true church”, and spending time on a missiong. Wow, what a waste of time. I do have a lot to say about the time spent on my mission sometime later.
The Mormon church is not the one true church. And since last year I have been on my own spiritual quest. Thanks Martha for a wonderful book. Thanks to all the others who went before to set an example of resigning.
Today I rejoice for the beer that I have made. The time span since I have made beer has been way too long. This is a good thing. I watched the children while getting the next batch made. The current batch is a Hefeweizen, that is a wheat beer.
Now, brewing beer is not just another thing I do, it is a way of life for me. Brewing beer brings me closer to the Gods above. Brewing beer takes me to the natural world of beverages.
Brewing is heavenly, smelling the aroma of the hops gurgling in the pot, making a delicious substance.
This is the time I feel for once in my life I am doing the right thing. This is once in my life when I feel like I have been accepted by all my friends and all the people in my homeroom at school.
Am I exaggerating., maybe. But brewing is phenomenal. I still have the aroma of the steaming brew in my nostrils the next day.
Needless to say, I look forward to tasting the first bottle.
The picture does not look like a great deal, but it is happiness in a large glass bottle.
Journaling
This is only a journal entry. I have not sat down to journal on paper in a few days. That is out of the ordinary for me. I decided to actually journal here since I am next to a computer. The real reason I wanted to start a blog was to post stories and poems not journal.
This past weekend was the big fifth birthday for Devri. She had a blast. I think she enjoyed having the family and friends over. There was more people over at out house than we have ever had at one time. I was surprised to see that many people there. My wife and I survived all the strange looks from people about the living room floor. I tried to get as much of the paint off the floor before the party so that it wouldn’t be there to look at. But, all the paint did not want to come up. That is not the exciting part of the part though.
The kids had fun. My wife danced with them and sang songs with them. It was a kid festival. Denise played all of Devri’s favorite songs.
I am sitting here in the computer lab waiting for class to start. Graduate school is not gentle at all. My main stress is trying to get everything done. I still did not get to everything that was due this week. Next comes the speech in two days, the proposal next Tuesday and the major assignment that has to get started as well. I am glad I have this opportunity. I just wish that I could get finished with all the work. I see other people in class that have the work done. Oh, that’s seet.
Last night we wen to eat at Olive Garden for Devri’s birthday. Then we went to Toys R us to let her pick out a bike. All of it was a surprise. She was excited about the bike. whe has not had one yet. Denise and I ponder the fact that we did not have a bike until we were older.
